Zu's Big Day Out I can start with all the food. There is food every five feet it seems. Everyone chilling down with some frosty frapacinos, pretzels, pastries, and anything else with a high sugar content To start the day if you can call it that, a 3 P/M Is not most people's morning but when you are shooting an outside night scene it kinda needs to be dark. I start around 2 having a late lunch with John King the Music supervisor then spend the next hour or so touring around the production offices of Buffy, Angle, and Mutant Enemy, making the rounds with John meeting all the people that make the show happen. It's 4 and I'm told that Seth is waiting for me down at the set so I grab my guitar and head out. The crew has already started blocking the first scene of the day when I walk into the Bronze, Seth yells from the other side of the room and we exchange greetings loudly and we are both immediately told "were working people, keep it down". I'm on the set 30 seconds and I'm already being told to be to shut up. Seth has to finish blocking the scene then we retire to one of the new sets this season, the college student union. We sit around talk about what we have been doing for the summer and etc. 2nd ad comes in "Seth we need you on the set" off he goes for a while. In the mean time I have picked up one of the magazines in the student union a began reading a 1991issue of Cosmo in which a girl writes in asking about the calorie content of semen. Seth walks in and we start laughing about the article "Cosmo is like the woman's equivalent of a porno mag" he laughs. But I read it for the interesting articles. I start to show him the parts of the song Dilate he'll be playing and I just tell him to put his hands around here on the guitar neck and jump up and down and it will look cool. He insists that he wants to actually learn the parts so it can look as real as possible. We learn the chorus of the song then Seth tells me that he never even touched a guitar before he started the show and he has now gone out and bought one so he can practice. He is picking up the chords pretty quick then he starts talking about how he always wanted to introduce a song (in his heavy Bono accent) "We wrote this song in Johannesburg when we heard little Steven playingÖÖ. We all start laughing hysterically Seth actually does a real good Bono impression. We finish learning all the parts of the Dilate we think he needs to know for the scene then we start jamming this green day song he knows. It's one that I haven't heard before and he says he has the CD in his dressing room so we go out to his trailer and heís blasting the last song off the Nimrod CD rocking out with some mean air drumming. I suggested, "maybe OZ should have been the drummer in Dingoes". On the counter in his trailer he has some Austin Power the Spy who Shagged me flyers from Japan. We start wondering how they translate Shagged me into Japanese. I suggested that it probably said ìthe spy who is disrespectful to me" Finally off to the set to film the performance part of Dingoes and we do take one. After spending all that time learning the song it didn't look right because FSM has 2 guitarists and Dingoes has only one. I told him were going to have to change his part because it doesnít look like itís matching the song. He looks a little worried but I told him to just put his hand up higher on the guitar neck and pick individual strings instead of strumming. We are all back by the monitors watching the second take and this time everyone is saying that looks a lot better. I walked out onto the set after the take and worshiped his air guitar prowess with the double rock out hand gesture, which makes him bust out laughing. He is relieved and we do a couple more takes with a hand held camera then we finished. Seth thanks me for coming down and helping him out and gives me his number so he can come and see how FSM plays the song. I'm packing up my stuff and he asks if I'm staying for dinner. "Sure I'll meet you there". I proceed to get lost trying to find where everyone's eating and end up going home hungry. Fade to black Roll credits The End

Tour Diary Birmingham- First show everyone in the band was curious how the reception would be on our first show ever in the UK. Surprise, the promoter for the show at the old railway was just fired from the club and in an attempt to get even with the club he went into the club and tore down all posters related to the shows he had booked including FSMís. So the day of the show we called the club to verify the set time and such and the owner of the club wasnít even aware that we were booked to play that night. He owner said he was relived that we showed up because the guy he fired let no schedule as to whom was playing when. The show goes off without a hitch and a nice sounding room as well. Welcome to England. York- The furthest north the tour would take us. Had one of the best meals during the whole tour at a pub up the street and the best coffee from our new friend Andy who told of all the stories of the most haunted city in all England. Opening band was Breathe and they were excellent. Justin the signer was a mad man running all of the stage making sure everyone was watching him. At the time it was the hottest stage I ever played on (more about this later) sweat pouring out of all of us. We must have lost about 1 stone each that night. I traded Justin one of our all access passes for his paper hat that he kept losing the whole night. Good trade. Manchester- We all know how much everyone likes Manchester. Even those that are from Manchester thinks itís a bit of pit. Tiny little stage and a low ceilings means ZU and Steve are going to get the heads smacked around a little. Tad ends up getting Zuís headstock of his guitar poked into his arms every two seconds and those sharp ends of the strings can cause some bleeding. Ouch! Another home-style cooked meal that was great. Everyone says that British food is terrible but we are finding quite the contrary.. London- First show in London and the club is as we are to learn from most of the shows, UPSTAIRS! We should have called the tour the haul your shit up the stairs tour. A huge queue of kids line up outside only to realize that the age limit wonít let them in the show. That Sucks, so we sneak them into our sound check so they can catch a few songs anyway. A TV crew from Now TV is there to shoot the show with pre and after show interviews. ZU breaks a string on his guitar and looks like a goof. Thankfully J from suriki had left his guitar on stage just in case. All rocked out including Tad with his fly down so instead of quickly zipping it up he drops full trou for everyone to see. I guess mom was right always have clean underwear on. Liverpool- La casa de Beatles, what more can I say itís like Mecca for us. First thing we have to do is load all the gear down 4 flights of stairs. Remember this the ìTour of Stairsî. Our host for the night is Steve. A crazy man that gave us anything we wanted including some Cavern T-shirts and tall drinks. We rocked out with Yoda and other stuffed animals that the fans had brought including the famous Flossie. Another very hot and sweaty club so in-between songs Zu would sprinkle water over those trying to cool off. A 3 ‡ hour drive home along with a 2 am stop at welcome break and we are in bed by 6 am. Worcester- A short 30 min drive down the road gives our tour manager a well deserved break from the long haul drive we have been experiencing. This is a show with not 1 flight of stairs to load into a first for us and a welcome break as well. After sound check the band goes sight seeing. We find an old 12th century church that has been converted into apartments and some cool buildings to get some pictures of. As we are walking back to the club I spot an old mini cooper car and decide, hey letís get a picture of me pretending to pick up this car just like the incredible hulk. Iím not even touching this car and a lady gets out of the car parked right next to the cooper and goes off on me telling me how rude I am to be making fun of her car. I was trying to make nice letting her know that I had never seen such a small car. This gets her even more mad and she is berating me on how Itís not much to you Americans but itís all she had and she an officer of the court and I am trespassing and you know the rest. Unknown to me at the time the rest of the gang has made a b-line for the club and left me there by myself to wiggle out of this situation. I can honestly say that I have never been yelled at so politely in my life. If this was LA I would have been shot. Wolverhampton- Another close drive for us and we spend the a ‡ hour standing in a parking stop to save for our suriki boys that is right outside the club. There we are with pathetic looks on our faces as people are trying to pull into the parking space and we just stand there looking dumb saying ì our Big tour bus is rounding the block and this is the only space that it will fit inî. What a bunch of liars are we. Next, we are back to hauling gear up stairs again. In the middle of Surikiís set they upstage us by buying flowers for our Merch girls and publicly thank them for selling their merch as well as FSMís. This made us feel pretty low and we vowed to return the favor in the future. Bristol- Drive into town around 1:00pm notice that there is a big hot air balloon on a tether in the center of town. We all thought it would be cool to take a ride in the balloon. Cool idea until someone informs us that they had this same kind of balloon ride in another city but they stopped because onetime a group of people went up in the balloon for a ride an the tether broke an the balloon ended up crashing into a building or something. Made me think that would be a unique way for a band to die instead of a boring plane crash or something the papers would read they all went down in a hot air balloon. Enough rambling got to sound check fixed whatever was broken and had an interview with a Bristol paper. A guy named Richard Hinton. Right after the interview Suriki and FSM threw a surprise Birthday party for our loving tour manager Steve. After giving him a few swats with a cricket bat FSM hot the stage. A great crowd filled the room and we gave them all we had. A few friends from Liverpool drove 3 hours to come hang with us so it was nice to see some familiar faces. Cambridge- By now half the members of the band have come down with a cold that Rich of Suriki was kind enough to pass along to everyone. We have another signing at the local Forbidden Planet and end up having a cool conversation with a couple of 10 year old kids that just happened to walk by. Had another difficult time trying to eat. It is so hard to get 5 people to agree on where to eat. Finally land at tiny cafÈ down the street from the venue. Tad ordered the meat pie they were out. Tad ordered some Vegetable soup, they were out. Tad ordered French fries, they were out. Tad got up and left, Heís out. Suriki was worried about being an Oxford band playing in Cambridge but they won over the fans. We had a great show as well this crowd really got into the show which helped us get our groove on. Chris nearly passes out after the set. This boy is really sick. Sign T-shirts and autographs and off we go for another 2 hour ride home as well as a 3:00am stop at Granada. Portsmouth- One of the bigger venues we are playing in this tour. And as luck would have it NO STAIRS! We decide to get hotel rooms here because we really donít want to drive 3.5 hours home after the show. We get to sound-check and they set out some sandwiches for us. I have no idea if this is a British thing or what but they had Tomato and peanut butter sandwiches. I can honestly say that I had never heard of such a bizarre combination. I donít know if I was starving or what but it really wasnít that bad. Tons of people turned out for this show and this was the biggest stage we have played on this whole tour. The kids went crazy and we did as well. We have played 10 shows in a row and we arenít feeling tired at all. After the show we do the usual merch. stuff and we head the hotel. This night Steve doesnít have to drive home and he makes the most of it. I Am still surprised on how loud the party was a not one person complained. In the States we would have been thrown out for sure with half the amount of noise. Oxford- Surikiís home town. These boys were nervous a bit bringing the show to their hood and they find out a week before that Radiohead is having a listening party of their soon to be released record on the same night as the show. Not to worry the place was packed. I mean really packed. I can honestly say without a doubt that this was the hottest show I have ever played. It was like playing in hell but with a lot more humidity. I havenít played a note and I look down at my guitar and there is moisture all over the thing. The strings felt like they were 1 stone or two heavier than lead. We all started the show with a lot of energy and by the fourth song we were so drained I could barely hold my head up. I decided that we should have the placed closed until they buy a fan or something. I canít imagine anyone playing on that stage and not losing 10 lbs. A night. Peterborough- Ok, we have done a good job of finding our way around the UK but it finally had to happen. We get completely lost looking for the venue. Thank God for our cell phone to help light the way. Upstairs goes the gear as we find a real nice place with a pretty decent PA and good sounding room. My guitar amp decides that is doesnít feel like working today. The amp decides not to work right as we go on stage. Sound-check it thought was enough for the night. So my good friends in Suriki save me again and I borrow some stuff quickly and off we go. During the show Tad takes a call from Richís girl Lizzie. Tad has the crowd give a shout out to her and dedicate her favorite FSM song to her. With that we have returned the favor to Suriki for upstaging us with the flowers at the Wolverhampton show. Hehehehe. London- As with all good things they must end and what an end it was. After a signing at the Forbidden Planet in London we make our way to the show. We pull up in front and Suriki is out front with this weird look on their faces. They donít say anything and just point inside. We walk in a find that this club says it holds 95 people and I would bet that it doesnít even hold 50. We all had a good laugh and then set out to try and figure out how we are going to pull this off. Well, we fit everything inside on the stage even Moonís keyboards and hoped for the best. I can honestly say that the last show on the tour was one of my favorites. We must have crammed 110 people inside that club and there were at least 30 people outside that just listened in on the set. I let fans in the crowd take turns wearing my ìFraudî hat and we brought in the Suriki boys to sing with us on ìPainî. This was the smallest most cramped show I have ever played and I had the best time. It was extremely intimate. I personally wanted to thank everyone for sending us off with a show that under any other circumstances would have been a drag but this show was a complete blast. The Party- We stormed the hotel bar and set up camp with all our friends we made on the tour. People came from Liverpool, York, Peterborough, BirminghamÖ We all took lots of pictures and drank lots of booze. Moon managed to show us his magical ìBreak all the glasses on the tableî trick. Steve got locked out of the hotel and at 4 am we get the bright idea to go out onto the scaffolding surrounding the building. The party now on the scaffold goes well into the night. Moon again amazed all with dropping a bottle of vodka of the side and all the guests were treated to the musical musings of a bottle falling 5 stories down and managing not to hit anyone. Bear in mind that during any of these shenaniganís not one guest or hotel employee has told us to ìShut up or get outî. We canít even get kicked out of the hotel. Damn so much for trying to be rock stars. Tad & Barb decide to have a wrestling match at 6 am in our hotel room. As Tad body slams Barb onto the bed he over shoots the bed and because it is on wheels, it slides out from under them and Tad and Barb bounce right of the bed and onto the floor. I thought he had killed her, but they were both laughing hysterically. Freaks!

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